Subtitle – in which I try to distract myself about Christmas Ghosts coming out tomorrow! I might be just a little too excited.
You are neither Vulcan nor human, and therefore you have no place in this universe.
I was drawn to Spock because I did not fit in. I was born with a physical disability yet I am very intelligent. In the Dark Ages when I was growing up, the disabled were ostracized and bullied in the ‘normal’ schools. For years, groups of children would corner me in the hallways and tease me for walking on crutches and for being different from them. The school board was so sick of my mother getting in their face about how I was treated that they pretty much forced her to send me to the ‘special education’ center with the other disabled children—the ones no one wanted to teach or see.
When I got to that school, I was once again a pariah. I was too smart. I had lived in the outside, went to ‘regular’ school, and I was on average half the age of the students who were my mental equals (or as close as they could get in that school). I was a 9-year-old in a classroom of 16 year olds.
It was during this period in my childhood that I discovered Star Trek and Spock. He was like me. He wasn’t normal. He was an outcast by Vulcan standards. He was alien by human standards. His intelligence and strength to overcome his ‘disadvantages’ spoke to me. Which is probably why that scene in 2009 when AOS Spock tells the Elders to fuck themselves brought me so much joy, just as watching the bullies attacking him made me cry because of my own memories.
Thankfully we moved the summer before high school, and I got to go to a regular public high school where things weren’t so bad. Who knew Las Vegas could be more enlightened about someone like me than San Francisco? I suppose for me Vegas was Starfleet. It was where while I might not have fit in, I was not shunned. I found my place there for many years, including most of college.
Sadly the working world is not Starfleet. I was never promoted. I was told how wonderful I was at my jobs, but I wasn’t allowed to move upward. I was female. I was disabled. They put me in a place and kept me there.
But as angry as I was about all of this, I still have hope for a better world for the future, which isn’t easy these days. There are dark days ahead, but as humans, we will get past them. It’s only logical.